I Wasn’t Ready.

Yesterday I turned down an opportunity which would require me living in Thailand for two years. This company initially told me that a decision didn’t have to be made until the end of September. I was comfortable with that; I had some time to pray on it..plus, a lot can happen within two months so I was keeping my options open. Two days after I was interviewed, they sent me an e-mail which stated I had three days to accept or decline the offer.

I did the Los Angeles move by myself last year; that was a short six hour flight from home. But Thailand? A whole different continent we’re talking about now. That’s a 20+ hour flight. This commitment level was different; I was given the opportunity to be a community leader in Thailand for two years. Overwhelming, yet rewarding. I could definitely share all of the pros that this opportunity would bring.

But, I wasn’t ready.

I don’t doubt that I would be successful in this role; I am good when it comes to adapting. Although, the problem with us millennials is that we often get caught up being transient; in other words, “still in work mode,” or “lasting only for a short amount of time.” I learned how to sit still long enough so God can process me..I’d rather not miss out on my transition season. At times it’s necessary to stick to the process; but instead we desire instant success, and for everything to go our way exactly how we planned.

Being emotionally aware and honest is important when it comes to decisions, relationships, and our futures. As I was pondering on this opportunity; I told myself that before I take upon the responsibility of an entire village on my shoulders, I have work do within myself. A team is only as good as its leader. I wasn’t scared to admit that I wasn’t ready for that level yet; I’m not finished being polished. Be aware when God tells you to be still where He currently has you; be aware of God opportunities versus opportunities.

Let’s not forget that the enemy works just as hard.

The Serena I knew about a year ago; as soon as I received the e-mail I would have jumped all over the opportunity. Calling it a “blessing.” The fact that I was so unsure about the decision, showed me that it wasn’t a God opportunity. Before even receiving the offer I told myself I would have to pray on it. Anything that takes you many days to make the final decision does not offer peace; it’s not God. Whenever God is involved, peace will follow right along with it.

Anything that moves us away from God is not for us. Even when it may seem like the door that we want to walk through. Even when it sounds as peaceful as living on an island for two years. I am just getting started where I’m currently at; why would I walk away now?

I am forever young with options. But, I desire God’s way every time.

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